Advice from Certified Parenting Expert Sarah Ahmed
Connection: our Greatest Currency–Helping Fathers to Connect through Love and Presence, not Fear.
As the global pandemic of 2020 has unfolded over the last five months, many fathers have come to me in states of anxiety and despair. They have now found themselves juggling the demands of
working from home and taking on new responsibilities parenting and supporting their homebound children and families.
The family dynamic has undoubtedly undergone a significant overhaul. As we near the end of Summer and venture into the unknowns of returning to school this Fall, many fathers are still feeling the burden. The overwhelm of ensuring not only the physical well-being of their children but also the mental and emotional well-being seems to be pressing.
While, like many of you, I don’t have ALL the answers. I do know it is paramount that we lean into our inner knowing and trust that we know our families best, and we must connect with what
resonates as truth for us.
One of the ways that I support fathers is to help them understand that the most significant thing you can do for your family is become the very BEST version of you! This will help you the receive the highest level of abundance, connection, love, and joy that’s available to you.
Connect with how you genuinely feel and what resonates as truth and use that as your guide when making decisions so you can create a life you truly love and that your children, in turn, will love as well.
It’s critical to know what we stand for and to step into alignment with those beliefs. Our children will follow our lead. So, if we are overwhelmed, exhausted, and confused, then they, in turn, will act and respond to that energy, and that’s where the disconnect and chaos begins.
Connecting to our children is NOT about hugging, buying them things, or saying, I love you, This is just one aspect of connection. Connection is so much more. It is attuning to who it is they are so that we can shift our awareness to meet their genuine needs better.
The reality is this: most of us don’t connect to what our children truly need. We only connect with them based on OUR needs. Connecting with our children requires casting aside our plans and timelines and simply attuning with what our children need. I remind the parent’s that a child’s
need is always lurking beneath the behavior. Once you are willing to look beneath the surface behavior, you will see the need. And that is where connection lies. No phones, no emails, and no distractions. One of the greatest gifts we can give to ourselves and our children is the ability to be present and immerse ourselves in the here and now. I always say
quality over quantity. Suppose all you have is one hour a day to fully connect with your children then give them 100% of you during that time. That presence is where true connection unfolds.
Play is childre’s work, so engaging in child-directed play, be it building Legos, drawing or painting, making a Tik Tok video together, taking a bike ride, walking outside, or cooking a simple meal together. The activities that your children love will help you uncover their true essence and needs. Engage with full attention and patience and notice how much more compliant or calm your children will be from being surrounded by your care and love.
Our children are giving us plenty of opportunities to practice our patience with them. But as valuable as it is, learning how to be patient with ourselves is just as important. Especially when you are a conscious parent, who tries so hard to be your best, you tend to judge yourself quite harshly every time you are not your best. But having self-compassion and acknowledging that
change takes time and can’t always get it right will nourish your physical and emotional health.
Sure there are moments of frustration and struggle, but we have the key to switch our perspective, our response, our love. Parenting is a life-long journey that needs support to navigate the highs and lows of that moment or season. Email me for a free discovery session tosee how I can support your journey to Conscious Parenting.
To learn more:
Sarah Ahmed ccc-slp
Speech Therapist and Conscious Parenting Consultant